About learning that I am INFP

Hello, my name is Asma and I have an INFP type personality.

This is my confession.

I never truly knew that I was this type of person. However, now I've realized that I can't be changed.

Introversion - I've always been seriously introverted and slightly extroverted.
iNtuition - I have always had big dreams.
Feeling - I felt more than I thought.
Perceiving - I like to take things as they come and follow my own path.

With this personality type, I can be an artist, art director, musician, novelist or poet. Which I plan to be all. Hehe.  

Ah, learning about yourself is hard.

Anyway...

This system is called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator based on Carl Jung's theories on personality types. The questionnaire was created by Katherine Cooks Briggs and her daughter Isabel Myers-Briggs in the 1940's. I like this system of picking a person's personality because it also helps them figure out what job they are good at.

When I create my production company(ies), I will ask people who I hire to take this quiz or ask if they ever had taken it before they start working, so they and their coworkers can understand each other better. Many people can be placed into jobs where they can be sure to succeed, like directors, camera people, instructors, talent managers, and consultants.

10 Bollywood movies to get you into Indian Cinema!!!

I first saw Shah Rukh Khan on TV when I was four. I'm pretty sure I saw Dil Se (1998) because I remember when the car blow up during the title song. I was hooked. Then when we moved to American when I was five, I completely forgot about Bollywood. Until...my mother found a store in our city that sells a wide selection of Hindi movies when I was 13. So she bought Dil (1990) with Aamir Khan and Madhuri Dixit, my first real introduction back into Bollywood. Then we bought Andaz Apna Apna (1994), we were introduced to Salman Khan and Karisma Kapoor.

A lot of people don't know about Bollywood films. Let me break it down. Every film is a musical. They all come with English subtitles, but the films that have English subtitles for the songs are better because they help you understand the story better. I think that all the best films happened in the 90's. I've already mentioned Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge aka DDLJ (1995) many times already and it will not end here. If you haven't watched it yet, you're really something...

For those who want to know more, here is a list of ten movies you can watch to get into Indian entertainment.

1. Duplicate (1998)

Actors: Shahrukh Khan, Farida Jalal, Juhi Chawla, Sonali Bendre
Story: Shah Rukh Khan plays both an escaped prisoner, seeking vengeance on those who double-crossed him and an innocent-hearted chef. The bad version impersonates the good version and causes chaos for his mom and his girlfriend.
Best moment: "Bebe! Hug me!"
Best song: "Mere Mehboob Mere Sanam"



2. Baadshah [King] (1999)

Actors: Shahrukh Khan, Twinkle Khanna, Johnny Lever, Amrish Puri
Story: After a wealthy man hires Baadshah, a private detective to persuade his rebellious daughter to marry a man she didn't choose. Instead, she falls for the detective. James Bond and Rush Hour references throughout.
Best moment: The tea shaking scene
Best song: "Main To Hoon Pagal"

3. Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani [Yet The Heart Is Still Indian] (2000)

Actors: Shahrukh Khan, Juhi Chawla, Johnny Lever, Paresh Rawal
Story: Two television reporters must put aside their rivalries to help a terrorist while during an crooked election campaign.
Best moment: "Baba! Baba!"
Best song: "Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani"

4. Karan Arjun (1995)

Actors: Salman Khan, Shahrukh Khan, Kajol, Mamta Kulkarni, Raakhee, Amrish Puri
Story: The mother goddess reincarnates two brothers who love their mother, realize their identities and seek revenge upon their killer.
Best moment: When they realize they are brothers again.
Best song: All of the songs are good but "Yeh Bandhan" will make you cry.

5. Andaz Apna Apna [Everyone Has Their Own Style] (1994)

Actors: Salman Khan, Aamir Khan, Raveena Tandon, Karisma Kapoor, Paresh Rawal, Shakti Kapoor
Story: Two men try to woo a millionaire's daughter, except her assitant falls in love with one of them and they must stop a murder attempt.
Best moment: "Police! Police!"
Best song: "Ye Raat Aur Ye Doori"

6. Dil [Heart] (1990)

Actors: Aamir Khan, Madhuri Dixit, Saeed Jaffrey, Deven Verma, Anupam Kher
Story: A old man loves money so much. Luckily his son meets the daughter of a millionaire in college on the worst terms but they fall in love. Their love cannot exist because of their social statuses.
Best moment: Their married morning scene.
Best song: "Mujhe Neend Na Aaye"

7. Raja Hindustani [Indian King] (1996)

Actors: Aamir Khan, Karisma Kapoor, Rajwinder Deol, Suresh Oberoi , Johnny Lever
Story: The daughter of a rich tycoon falls in love with a cabdriver. Social status, revenge, and longing plague the plot.
Best moment: Karisma's cuteness in "Poocho Zara Poocho".
Best song: "Pardesi Pardesi"

8. Hum Aapke Hain Koun..! [Who am I to You] (1994)

Actors: Salman Khan, Madhuri Dixit,Mohnish Bahl, Renuka Shahane, Anupam Kher, Reema Lagoo
Story: A man's brother and a woman's sister prepare to marry each other while they fall in love.
Best moment: Madu's love for sweets in  "Chocolate Limejuice Icecream"
Best song: "Didi Tera Devar Deewana"

9. Coolie No. 1 (1995)

Actors: Govinda, Karisma Kapoor, Kader Khan
Story: A matchmaker or con man asks a young ambitious man to pose as a wealthy bachelor as part of a plan to teach an arrogant father a lesson.
Best moment: Kader Khan makes Govinda drink alcohol
Best song: "Main Coolie No. 1"

10. Kyo Kii... Main Jhuth Nahin Bolta [Because I Don't Lie] (2001)

Actors: Govinda, Sushmita Sen, Rambha
Story: A 3-hour long remake of the Hollywood film Liar Liar (1997) starring Jim Carrey. A man who being a compulsive liar like Carrey's character and his son wishing that his dad would stop lying. Hilarity ensues.
Best moment: The affair and when he got caught.
Best song: To be honest, there was a song every 15 minutes and it was kind of annoying. I don't have a favorite. Still, watch the movie.

Enjoy my recommendations.


Image Credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Dear Whisky Tango Foxtrot,

I see you. I see what you're doing and even if I was already disappointed with Hollywood, this was over top. There is nothing I can say of this movie because it has already been made. Except that I dislike everything that it stands for. Like almost every live-action Hollywood makes nowadays.

The synopsis I found for Whisky Tango Foxtrot is that a journalist named Kim Barker (Tina Fey) recounts her wartime coverage in Afghanistan and Pakistan who also develops a crazy relationship with a fellow journalist from Scotland (Martin Freeman).

Problems I have:

1. whiskey-tango-foxtrot = "what the f***". It spells wtf out in military alphabet. Let's not talk about politics yet on this blog.
2. The stupid joke about the first female Afghan driver and how her comic flub would set back all women.
3. I was disappointed in myself for even watching the trailer so that I could come up with things to write that I have give them another view to their already 3 million.

If you want to make political movie funny, it has to be serious while having funny moments. This is too obvious, stupid, and unimaginative. Trying to sugarcoat the war with how much you care about comedy, more than you care about telling a good story.

BTW: I feel bad for Martin Freeman.

Groups I've gotten into recently #3

Since my last "Groups I've gotten into recently" post, I have finally used my time wisely and gotten to know the members of UP10TION and TOPPDOGG. I'm so happy I have more people to memorize and suffocate with my love and affection.

UP10TION: They are the under the same company as TeenTop (Top Media), but thankfully they are nicer to each other than TeenTop is to their members. They are so cute and fluffy. In contrast, their songs carry a certain sophistication that many groups could have dreamed of having during their debut. This is also one of those groups that show how hard it is to chose a bias. See, I liked Kuhn first, then one by one they all started creeping on my heartstrings. I honestly don't know who to stick with.



TOPPDOGG: Wow. Just wow. Why do I feel like they're being slept on? They honestly need to be on more variety shows and recognized for their dope songs. Also... I have never had somebody climb on my bias list as fast as Hansol did. The ideal mix of cute and hot. Hmmm... Anyway, listen to their albums, and their covers, and their mixtapes. All are gold and proof of their hard work. I wish the best for Kidoh (Suga lookalike and bragger), Gohn (sweet dude), and Seogoong (honey vocal).



TeenTop: I have never seen a group of people to dislike each other so openly (for fun!!!) and still stay in a group together. They constantly belittle each other and continue like it's just a normal day. I get hurt for them. L.Joe is a regular victim because of his innocent personality. As least, Ricky gets some sort payback when is his wronged. As long as they work well together, I don't think there will be any real drama. I like the song from this album so I chose this picture.



ASTRO: These kids are something. The oldest is older than me. The maknae was born in 2000! They're so cute, and sweet, and so happy to be debuting doing what they love. Moonbin who has practiced for the longest time and improved for so much, MJ who has the name of the legend and the spirit of a five year old, Rocky with his sweet smile, Jin Jin the childish leader, Sanha with his braces and his talent, and Eunwoo with his handsome face and voice. I would follow them to the sun. Argh!



Groups I want to get into later:
2PM
Super Junior
B1A4


image credits; 1, 2, 3, 4

Asma's Diary Throw-up #2

Free Online Classes

• I realize how much I am lacking in my skills and how rusty my creativity is. So I have decided to take free online classes in the areas I am interested in, such as art, music, writing, and business. 

• I also am saving up to buy important tools I need to practice. For example, a DSLR camera, a video editing software, a wacom draw tablet, and an acoustic guitar. 

• It will take me a while, but using the time I have in between, I can start learning how to craft stories and etc. I will make the best of it. I'll also post my learning here and use this space frequently. 

Asma's Diary Throw-up #1

My Future:

I've been thinking about my future. I've become a little depressed thinking about it. Once a week I go to some sort of crisis or whenever I stop writing for couple days. There's a lot of things I want to do. And I don't know if I can do any of it. I want to create platforms for young Somalis by Somalis in all forms: music, film, art, broadcast, culinary, fashion, makeup, and household products. With all of these dreams, I have to learn a lot of new things. And I need money. And a lot of confidence. I'm still practicing. I just hope I'm not 100 by the time I really start.

I'll be writing some more short stories, poems, lists and thoughts until then. 

Please support.

About "Getting to Know Me"

More about me. Get excited.

What is your three favorite movies?
Princess Bride, Howl’s Moving Castle, DDLJ.

What is your favorite book?
Maximum Ride, 1-5. The rest are dust.

What was your favorite activity in gym class?
Volleyball, beach ball, ping pong.

What is your favorite season?
Spring. Everything comes back to life.

What is your favorite cartoon TV show?
Pokemon, Teen Titans, Static Shock, The Batman, The Spectacular Spiderman.

What is your favorite color?
Purple.

What is your favorite food?
Fita muus, beer, sloppy joe, and fried dough.

What is your favorite animal?
Fox.

What part of your body is your favorite?
My eyes, my perfectly shaped eyebrows, my thighs, and my thick ankles.

What does your perfect day look like?
A cloudy day in my apartment, all by myself, drinking shia and working.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?
1990’s.

What is your favorite memory?

My Baabo carrying me on his shoulder when I was little in Pakistan.

Who is your hero?

Shah Rukh Khan, Disney, JK Rowling, Hayao Miyazaki, Hayley Williams

What has been your biggest challenge?

Finding my voice

What is your biggest success up until now?

Graduating valedictorian, Taking time off to learn about my craft.

If you could go any place on earth, where would it be and why?

Mecca and the Kaaba.

If you were to create a piece of art, what would it be about?

A nationwide project. 

If money was no object, what would you do all day?

Lounge, eat dessert, watch YouTube videos.

How would your family describe you?

Bossy and depressive.

How would your friends describe you?

Just smart, nothing else special or warm.

Who would you want with you if you were stranded on a deserted island?

Nobody.

What one thing would you change if you had to do it over?

My school experience. 

What is your biggest fear?

Hell. Failure.

School or life experience, which do you feel best prepares you for life?

Life experiences. 

What is the one thing that should be taught in school that isn’t already?

If school taught you how to make, keep, and save your money and be more confident in your skill, it would better prepare you for life.

If you could do anything you wanted right now, what would it be?

Eat all of my favorite foods at once.

What is your favorite thing to do?

Watching movies and videos, listening to new music, laughing, writing and creating new things.

What do you want your life to say about you?

I want people to like my work and I want to know that my family believes in the work I do.

Comebacks and Debuts

B.A.P and Taemin's Comebacks

I can't state in words of proud I am of these two artists. I wish I could have recorded my reactions because I was literally eating my pillow. I wanted to watch BAP's release broadcast and Taemin's too, but my V app is currently pissing me off. It never plays any videos. I keep getting a 104-Please Try Again code. Dude, I've tried. Many times. Anyway, "Feel So Good" and "Drip Drip" were really good. I've listen to them 20 times each. The production, the quality, and the dances. All the things you need on a Sunday morning.

Upcoming Stuff

I'm waiting for Astro's debut tonight. They are the first rookie group that I've ever followed since I've gotten into KPop, so good luck to them.

A Ode to Full Foreheads.

The Kings of Bollywood.

Indian and Pakistani movies were very well known throughout my family. Somalis used to see them in movie theaters on the free day, Friday, in the good old days. Actors like Amitabh Bachchan, Dharmendra, Hema Malini and many more were enjoyed by many audiences in Somalia. I was born in Pakistan, so I was exposed to my parents' favorite films.

But...

If you really want to get into Bollywood, you have to watch movies from the 90's first. I think the best Bollywood movies are from the 90's and 00's. There you will be introduced to the three biggest moneymakers in the industry. The Kings of Bollywood. The Three Khans: Aamir Khan, Salman Khan, Shah Rukh Khan.

Here, I wanted to give three short biographies of their legacies and their most beloved works to me. Let's fall into the Bollywood black hole together.

Aamir Khan



Full Name: Mohammed Aamir Hussain Khan
Born: March 14, 1965 (age 50), Mumbai, India
Profession: Indian film actor, Director, Producer
Film Lead Debut: 1988's Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak (or From Doom to Doom) starring Juhi Chawla
Most Famous Films: Dil, Rang De Basanti, Fanaa, Taare Zameen Par
He has made 39 Movies in 27 years.

Salman Khan

Full name: Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan
Born: December 27, 1965 (age 50), Indore, India
Profession: Indian film actor, Producer, Television personality.
Film Lead Debut: 1989's Maine Pyar Kiya (or I Have Loved) starring Bhagyashree
Most Famous Films: Sanam Bewafa,  Saajan, No Entry, Wanted
He has made 72 Movies in 27 Years.

Shah Rukh Khan

Full name: Shahrukh Khan
Born: November 2, 1965 (age 50), New Delhi, India
Profession: Film Actor, Producer, Television host
Film Lead Debut: 1992's Deewana (or Crazy or Passionate)
Most Famous Films: Darr, Dil To Pagal Hai, Mohabbatein, Veer Zaara, Happy New Year
He has made 55 Movies in 23 Years.

You can watch their movies with subtitles and love them as much as I do. Check off every movie you watch. You'll be surprised how fast you become absorbed in the language, music, and culture.


image credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
source credits: Indicine.com and Wikipedia

My thoughts on KBS's Exciting India

Recently, I was surfing and I saw on KBS's YouTube channel Minho and Suho's faces in the thumbnail. There I binged all four episodes of Exciting India, which starred SHINee's Minho, EXO's Suho, Infinite's Sunggyu, Super Junior's Kyuhyun, and C.N.Blue's Jonghyun. All are members of groups under SM entertainment.

The gist of the program was for these five superstars to go down to India as correspondents for KBS new to find out why KPop is less known in India compared to other Asian countries. Will they be able to put together a news segment worthy of being aired on the 9 o'clock news? Spoiler alert: They don't.

Initially, I didn't know that it was a special about KPop in India. Sometimes I watch things without knowing what they are.  But once I got into it, I realize these guys were actually going to Mumbai, India. To talk. To real Indian people. To ask them if they knew Korea or listened to KPop. sigh...

The only thing that Korean people seem to know about India is curry. So why did these stars get disheartened when nobody recognized then on The Gateway to India? You can not believe how hard I laughed and thought why were they even trying? They were really pressed that nobody knew them or where they were from. Especially Mr. Leader of EXO. I was crying when someone asked the leader of the biggest KPop groups to take a picture of him and his wife. When someone first recognize them, Kyuhyun and Jonghyun went to a coffee shop used by college students. The man was so excited. I got excited for him. Personally, after they met the Minister of Culture and if they decide to book shows in Delhi, I think they'll be fine.

The main reason why I think I'm writing this is because I was pissed that they didn't know that India existed before this but they wanted to know how they could get into the Indian market. They quickly realized that India's music scene comes from soundtracks to Bollywood movies and that if they want to become better know to the masses, they should make a Korean/Hindi style musical quick! Also, I was jealous that they even entertained the idea of meeting SRK, like he was just some neighborhood friend.

• Whoever said "Chakran" because they couldn't remember The King of Bollywood's name stabbed me in the heart. 
• You can't just meet Shah Rukh Khan. Argh!!! I wanted to punch them all in the face. 
• They even got to go inside Yash Raj film studios, which made many of SRK's hits and is still going strong with other Bollywood blockbusters. 
• They got to meet SRK's stunt director for his new film "FAN" who was Korean, and the man even kissed him!!!

Anyways (phew!), I was really happy that Minho's wish came true. He become a little closer to Suho like their trainee days. It was really cute to see them together in the end feeding each other.

IN CONCLUSION, They all used this broadcast to erase their ignorance on India, but they need to learn more about the culture if they want to do actual promotions in India. They have so many others to learn already.

Colors of Somaliland + New Motto

original design as provided by canva.com

B.A.P's Comeback or in General, other comebacks I'm anticipating

B.A.P's Comeback.

Last night I was minding my own business, watching the Grammys live with my family when my V app notification came on. It was right after Alabama Shakes won for Best Rock Performance and Miguel paid homage to Michael Jackson's 35 year old Grammy win. I looked down once and the slowest gasp I've ever had came out from my belly. B.A.P's teaser for their new music video came out!!!

I couldn't watch do anything right away because I didn't want to fan-girl beside my Hooyo. So I excused myself and went into the kitchen that I just cleaned. I got the video up but I paused it because a. I had to get myself together and 2. I wanted the video to load. I slid down on the floor, under the sink and held my hand over my mouth. Their beautiful faces, the song, the hip thrusts, the derp faces. I think I almost passed out from holding my breath and internally screaming, "HIMCHAN HAS BLUE CONTACTS!!! YONGGUK'S LIP BITE!!! DAEHYUN, STAWP!!! JONGUP!!! YOUNGJAE!!! ZELO!!! EVERYONE ENOUGH!!!"

I came back to my seat elated. I tried to continue tweeting about the Grammys, but I wanted to go back to my corner and watch the teaser over and over. I recently watched the teaser frame by frame thrice to catch the derp moments.

Look at them. Aren't they beautiful?

Watch the teaser here.

THEN... for his 2nd solo comeback, Taemin's teaser pictures dropped. Honestly, I was thinking about this last week. What if Taemin comeback? I also saw some pictures but I wasn't sure if anything was offical so I didn't bother to think more about it. But then this happened.

@qualityw_ilmo - What the fresh hell is this!!!

Why? Is Taemin mirroring himself? Why? My heart. Today, the teaser and more pictures came out. I love the look he went with. Very 70's, ethereal, and sensual. But I have to wait a week for all of this. 

*I love the teasers for music videos from your favorite artists. I would do the same thing. I would release gigantic K-music comebacks during American awards show so that international fans get their shit together. I'm sure that's not what they might because of the time differences, but that's what I felt like.

There are a couple more official comebacks I'm waiting for:

1. BlockB. There was a picture that came out a couple days ago. Hopefully they are coming back in March. 

2. UNIQ, and seeing Sungjoo's beautiful face. Happy Birthday!

3. MADTOWN, please.

4. MONSTAX, even though they really are in need of a break.

5. 24K, I want to see new music soon.

image credits: 1, 2

Asma's Letter to Baabo

This could either go really well or I'll be on the first plane to Somaliland tomorrow.

Here is the final draft of the letter I wrote to my Baabo [aka. Aabo or Dad] three days after we had our weekly argument. Things have been really tense between us since I left school. We can't communicate our positions effectively unless one of us screaming (him) or crying (me).

So since this is clearly not healthy, I cleanly explained my position in a email. As you will soon see, this is not the rough draft. The original was written with many bad words and many dried tears. This is the cleaned up version. Maybe I'll share the original later.

Enjoy. And tell me what you think.

I think I shared too much on this damn blog. But I don't care anymore.

Nobody can be prefect every time.

I hope I can continue writing and not run out of anything worthy to say. I will say some stupid stuff here and there for balance. Nobody can be prefect every time. *sigh* See.

Black&White Ep.1 - a 500 word short story.

It was pitch black.

The kind you see when you have a dreamless night. You think you’ve opened your eyes, but really, you are starring into an abyss you have been trapped in unless you wake up.

Well, you did. You woke up. It is still black.

How does it feel?

Not good, right?

That’s the kind of response that was wanted.

Confused and groggy, you rub your eyes. Are you truly awake? You run your hand through your hair. Are you a real person? You touch your body. Nothing is missing. You are wearing clothes but you don’t know how you look like. You sit up. This is a bed. There are no sheets. Your hand brushes the pillow you laid your head on a moment ago. You swing your legs and anticipate a floor. Thankfully, it is there and due to your warm socks, you can’t feel the cold tiles.

A thousand questions charge into your head. The few essential ones are Where are you? And why are you here?

You push yourself off the bed. Gently because you’re afraid your legs may be weak. Inch by inch, you fumble forward. Your toe bangs against a table leg. You assume there is nothing on the table as you wave your hands over it. Yet you feel something move when you start to shuffle past. You reach for it but it moves away. You try to grab it but commence to fall, bruising your knees. It is a chair with a curved back and a set of four wheels. You sit on it, suddenly exhausted. A crushing weight lands on your shoulders and you feel fear for the first time. It’s so dark. You wonder if your life will be so obscure forever. Your minimal exertion causes you to become hot and sweat collects on your forehead, matting your hair. You breathe deeply, in and out, to keep from hyperventilating and losing more energy. Your hands search desperately for walls. When they are found, you feel up and down, both aimless and resolute. There is nothing. No switch. No other furniture in the room.
Heavily breathing and with sweat dripping down your nose, you clumsily find the chair again. You sit on it, gathering your head in your arms. Dizziness sweeps you. Nausea overwhelms you.

“Help,” you whimper. The darkness. The heat. Is this what hell was supposed to feel like?
Alone and …

Something clicks. You left your head.

“Ack!”

Immediately, you cover your eyes. You looked straight into the light bulb hanging above you. Orbs flash like fireworks in your irises. You shield your eyes with your hands like a visor and slowly familiarize them to the light.

You eagerly survey your surroundings. Opposite from your initial experience, the room is so white, so clinical. The bed, the chair, the table. All white. And unexpectedly cold to the touch.

“Hello,” you call out. “Is anybody there?”

“Do you remember your name?”

Someone spoke? Who?

“No?”

“Why not?”

My KPop Bias List

When I found KPop again, I thought I would go through another phase. I saw BTS’s “Dope” first through YouTubers React To KPop #3 by Fine Bros Entertainment. I experience “fall at first sight” often. This was love at first video. To be honest, I stayed this long for the cute guys. I needed something to love last semester because I had just gotten out of my cyclical Shah Rukh Khan phase I fell into again during the summer. 

I am so thankful to the people who take the time to put English subs in videos because I get to learn more about new and old groups, their personalities, the song lyrics, and their lifestyles. I’m also thankful for the KPop reaction YouTubers for introducing me to new and old music. I learned a lot of KPop lingo from you guys.

Therefore, from the considerable amount of male groups I follow, I have to create a bias list. 

I like members who just have one of those faces, can sing well, dance well, laugh easily at anything, be funny themselves, and simply ooze sexiness. The whole package.

If I want to profess my love and support accurately, I have to write this list categorizing the sexy members, who are basically my biases, the bias wreckers (or creepers, as I like to call them), and the members I find cute.

This is really just for me because I want to keep all my bias straight in my head but if anybody reads ahead, thanks. HEART!

Thank you for reading.

Hi, it's Asma.

I see that I've going worldwide a little. I just wanted to check if everything is okay with you guys.

I'm a little nervous because I don't see any comments and I can't tell whether you guys are really liking what I write. Sometimes I think that maybe it's a good thing that I can't see any comments because it might change the way I write, even more than I try to censor myself.

I really wanted to thank you for reading again. I know that I'm going through the beginning stages of blogging now and I'm not sure if I'll be able to continue to deliver good content.

I know I've been a little low lately but please understand that a person can't be upbeat all the time. I go through mood swings frequently. Expect this a lot from this blog. I will go from happy to serious to hysterical to pissed to sad in a matter of days.

People affect me a lot. People also give each other love and support. Things I have experienced but have also been burdened by.

If you do decide to leave comments, say something nice or helpful. I have a weak heart and stomach and will take everything to heart. Kidding but not kidding.

Thank you again.

Confession: Why I'm a bad fan.

I like a lot of things. A variety of things: people, books, art, music, film, and TV worldwide. 

So many things that if I were to support all of them, I would do bankrupt and have no money left for food or water.

I like to talk about my favorite things, too but sometimes I feel guilty because I have no reason to judge the artists whose albums I don't buy, movies I don't watch, and TV I can't not support live. I can't see them in concert or go to the theater on opening day.

Instead, I download music and save pictures. I have a Pinterest devoted to the many things I like. I use YouTube, Spotify, and the local library to find new movies, music, and books. I follow my favorite artists, organizations, and companies on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms to keep up with them and to see the new work they put out. 

Because of my background, I can be very unpredictable when it comes buying the things I like. Somalis don't do anything unless it's free or if they are directly faced with an opportunity. If I am lucky enough to have money to buy movies, music, books, and art, I do. Especially if I'm at the used bookstore, Walmart's discount bins, whenever I get an iTunes gift card, I have to buy the best of whatever is there.

I have a lot of thoughts. However, I just have no space to share the subjects I present. So please know this. My inexperienced thoughts are not to be taken seriously because I'm not a real fan. I'm just a person who likes a lot of things and has a lot of thoughts. I give love to them telepathically. I also learn from them for what to do or not to do if I ever wanted to start a company of my own. 

I hope to become a real fan one day when I earn enough money.

Skool Blog Diary 5: Leave of Absence

I've gone through college with a major I've hated and if I could get a job from it, I can get back the dough I've wasted. But because of what we learned, half of it doesn't qualify for a real job. 

I've gone through stuck-up financial officers who should have really worked at a police station if they continued to maintain that "don't come hither" expression. I have never meet people who didn't want to do their jobs more than financial aid people. The atmosphere between me and the financial aid officer at College #1 got so wrought that it forced me to transfer to College #2. However, I learned it wasn't only College #1 that failed in its advertisement. College #2 was not any better. 

With the help of the FAFSA (the only hero in my life), I paid my own tuition fees. I have also been supported financially by my parents, but I hate taking money from them for something that I should have taken care of myself. It is embarrassing to take money from your parents when you know in your heart that you're not doing shit to deserve or if something fruitful will ever come out of it. Notice I did not say "supported emotionally". 

I have never taken a loan out once. It was really tempting. Even my mother almost persuaded me to do it. But I know how ruthless they are and I also know how stupid I am. Say I forget one month to pay the agreed payment, suddenly I have dogs sniffing for my dead wallet/body. So no loans.

[Cue the dramatics.] Hi, my name is Asma. I consider myself a failure. 

I think I'm tied in this tag of war of life. The side that pulls towards what I really want to do (which took me my whole adolescent life to come to a conclusion to) vs. what will give me a career and my parents satisfaction. I have realized what a naive person I was four years ago. Fresh out of high school, thinking that the world was really here to help me. But really, it was devised to punch, kick, scratch, and run away you over so that you have pick yourself up every single time. I've gotten hit and beaten so many times, beginning the spring of my sophomore year. I lived in darkness, a deep depression, that made my family reminisce about how fun I used to be. I've tried to explain my feelings of impending doom to my mother but she would simply brush it off or get hurt herself at my bad energy. 

I'm clearly disappointed of the position I'm in now. Because of me, I didn't have the strength to stand up for my dreams. Because of me, I wasn't given the proper confidence or support for my artistic endeavors. Because of me, I wasn't trusted enough to try out my potential. Because of me, I wasn't able to voice my opinions well enough to be understood or taken the correct way. Everything I wanted to do something or any opportunity I had to express myself felt like a burden to others instead of fun for me. 

Now, I've taken a leave of absence from school. I will not return until the fall semester. I've only attended one official week of school this year and I signed out the next because I couldn't take it any more. 

I'm buzzing with ideas and plans. But I'm scared I won't do any of them. Like not fulfilling the promises I've made to myself, or being scared to try something new. I've already been brought down my mother more than once. She's told me to search for a full-time job because she doesn't like me staying home and doing "nothing". She's told me that even if I become a loser who hasn't accomplished anything besides getting her degree, that she'd still love me. Somalis aren't that great when it comes to empathy. I've disappointed my mother and father so many times. I don't want to disappoint them again.

To hear my mother say that she always known my ideas were too big and that I should just live a simple, easy life and that I can hate her later hurts me. I don't want that to come true. I don't want to hate her but I also don't want to fall into her prediction. I'm concerned that I might become a aimless, depressive, unprofessional loser who wasted her last year of college.

I pray that I accomplish everything I want to accomplish without getting discouraged and show the sides of myself that I've suppressed all this time trying to be a someone I knew I wasn't.

- Asma


[P.S: When I thought things were finally going to come together for me, guess what? I lost my flash drive the day I signed out of college. I can never catch a break. Two and a 1/2 years of collected research, drafts, and tips. Gifts to the world that I must forget and start from scratch. Don't feel too sad for me. I've been through it all by now.]

Groups I've gotten into recently. #2

The Legend: "Crush on you" is a great comeback song. Jaehyuk is my bias. Rio and Listen are creeping. I wish they had more subtitled videos. I'd love to see more.



FTISLAND: My first Korean rock group. I missed all of my rock phases after I listened to them. I watched their reality show on YouTube and I loved it. I really hope they do well and are happy. Note: Minhwan, the drummer, really reminded me of H.O from Madtown.



Boys Republic: I've lightly been following them, but then "The Real One" hooked me in. I got so into my feelings that I almost cried to "Hello" today. I hope they become more popular with the next comeback because they really gave it their all with the last two.



INFINITE: I haven't gone into their discography yet. Other than "Bad" which I love, are there any song anyone would like to recommend? I fell for the best leader ever, according to Pops in Seoul, Sunggku. He is such a shameless cutie, a hamster who loves his members. I'm keeping up with their reality show, too.



BEAST: I found BEAST through Hyunseung's "Ma First" and went through all of their TV appearances and shows. They try really hard to be entertaining, but they don't need to do much. Doojoon's laugh is everything to me. Gikwang is a clapping seal cutie. Yoseob is the biggest contrast of a human being ever. When you look at his face, he reminds of a Capuchin monkey, but his body could rival any body builder. I haven't sound a song I like though. When I do, I will announce it to the world.



*Groups I want to dive into more, like watching their reality shows and getting to know them more:
ToppDogg
EXO (I know I probably should have by now but...)
UP10TION
24K


Image Credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

My Vevo Music Binge.

While going through writer's block, I decided to run by the music videos I haven't seen yet. I tweeted my short thoughts on them. I thought I should explain myself more here.

Follow me on Twitter (he he) at @qualityw_ilmo.

First, I watched Leon Bridges "River". Wow! His right-hand lady Brittini Jessie with her angelic voice started us off. She is gorgeous. I wish they could be a duo forever, but honestly I really want her to make her own album. The music video was pack to the brim with metaphors and hidden themes that were made really obvious. The cinematography was beautiful and the song, ugh! I can't.

Second, I saw Kendrick Lamar's "God is Gangsta". The first part of the video was the song was "u". It seemed like he was a man who was a devil who hated himself. Very intense. The second half of the video was the song "For Sale?- Interlude". I got frustrated because the words disappeared so fast. I should have minded the naked women, but even he didn't mind. The video had a French film style to it, with the feeling that he was in hell.

Next, I watched Lion Babe's "Where Do We Go". Well... I love the song. I was kind of taken aback a little because I saw the teaser on their Instagram and I was worried. Even though they were acting, their work relationship might a little weird now. They're not Karmin. Those two were engaged were during their promotions. Anyway, I find Lion Babe a cute couple. If they were going to make it offical, I would have not complaints.

Then, I watched J.Cole "Love Yourz". I love the staging that was a recreation of the rooftop of his house, like on the album. The behind the scenes videos with his friends and his colleagues were reallu cute. I love that all fans were screaming from him. I wish I would go to one of his concerts.

[I took a break and saw a cute picture of the new Disney animated film "Zootopia". I can't wait!!! I laughed really hard at all of the hidden messages in the poster.]

I made a 360 and begin watching a remake of "Kung Fu Fighting" by The Vamps. The frontman is really cute and has a really cool voice. Then I starting watching their other videos and I really like their music and their looks. I think I fell in love with them. Why? Because of a couple songs and my instant curiosity. I'm that easy.

After that, I watched Years&Years because I haven't heard from them in a while. "Eyes Shut". My thoughts: So Olly, you're just going to walk away and leave me with that song. How dare you?

I did their song "Shine", which had 4 versions. An original version and three visual treats.
In the original, Olly's voice was as amazing as ever! Also, was there an alien invasion during the music? It reminded me of  "Sail" by AWOLnation. The "Shine" choose dark. version was where he debuted his blond hair. I guess the theme was that in a dark background, they chose light.
"Shine" choose light. version. I had more questions. The setting was very beautiful, by the way and Olly looked like an angel. 1. What does the prism that gives me a mind wipe mean? And 2. what was the high five? The "Shine" choose shadow. version's set is awesome. Wow! The clothes, too. Suddenly, the prism has become a cube! The concepts, light, dark and shadow were the same as if you were to say white, black and gray. It was better way of saying it. The atmosphere were really cool. What a masterpiece! Good job, seriously.

I like that music and art have come to the forefront recently and become more cinematic. It's more to enjoy and more to aspire to. Thank you all of the artists I watched for a good time.

My thoughts on Madtown Buffy's V-app

This is an embarrassing topic for me personally because it's something a person thinks about, not says out loud. I will continue to write about these random thoughts and come to conclusions that calm my heart.

Another one of my thoughts came from another V app show: Madtown. First of all, congratulations to Madtown for opening their V app channel.

So I was thinking about Buffy, who was asked a question by Daewon, who chose from the comments when they were doing the lie defector challenge about whether Buffy watches explicit videos at night. He said he did and that he liked them. The first thing I thought of was how old he was, that basically he was my younger brother. I know that I shouldn't feel this way but I did and it made me want to write about this particular subject.

Then I started wondering about "OMGT" and how sexy a music video it was, since Buffy is one of the people who composes Madtown songs.

Please, don't get me wrong. I love men and the things they do to seduce me. I think I just felt a little puzzled at what Buffy said and his expression. I wanted to see why I was so opposed to Buffy saying that even though they were the contents of "OMGT".

So I wanted to list the Korean Artists and what I think about who can do what when it comes to explicit ideas. because whenever I thought about another artist doing anything remotely sexy, I let them have it. I was being very selective.

For example:

1. Rap Monster.
I felt weird that Rap Mon ever made a song about a licking a p**** with that cute face he has. But it made me not like for a couple of days thinking about that. But I forgave him cause he helped give us The Most Beautiful Moments, Part 1 and 2.

2. Jay Park.
Jay Park is a grown man with his own record label and company. He can do whatever he wants.
See, I have nothing to say. He is too gorgeous not to do anything sexy.

3. Dean.
This guy is so new and I've already fallen in love. He arrived at sexy, so that no one would be surprised if he did it later.

4. Zico.
Zico is grown, too. And now that he's done all of his solos, using explicit language and images, learning that his solo music sells well. Nobody can say anything to me about "Eureka. "Eureka" is my jam. It seems very tame compared to American songs but for Zico and his career, it's risque.

It's OK for these other guys to do it but why did I feel conflicted when Buffy said what he said? These men also had watched explicit videos and done more.

Is it because they are older; because Buffy is still young to me?

Madtown has done two comebacks already. I want to know what other kinds of sexy songs will they come back with???

4D qualities U must have to be 4D

These type of idols are the mood-lifters and the life of the party. I feel that to be 4D takes a lot of skill in being yourself without fear or embarrassment. 

I came up with 10 4D qualities that 4D idols possess that make them more 4D. 

Enjoy.

1. Random dancing.



2. General randomness.

3. Doing the opposite of what people think you're going to do.

4. Be really good at specific things.

5. Be really good at something only you can do.

6. Being a younger member forced to entertain his older member.

7. Make your ordinary talent extraordinary.

8. Have an on and off switch.

9. Play be the rules by making your own rules.

10. Being yourself unafraid of your 4D-ness.




Image Credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10